October 6, 2010
Last weekend, I was preparing to spend the afternoon on the boat when I remembered that I threw out my “beer bucket” after my last outing on the high seas. “Beer bucket” is the nickname (yes, even buckets have nicknames in my life) for the garbage can on the boat. After three years of extensive use, “beer bucket” needed to meet his maker. So, to the landfill he went. I called my co-captain for the day, let’s call him Lanky, and asked him to grab a bucket on his way. As we piled all of our gear – including new beer bucket - into the car, Lanky told me about the great deal he got on the bucket saying, “They gave me a discount because it has a hole in it.”
(If you’re not laughing now, you should never read my column again. Seriously, throw away the paper and never read another word of Courtney again.)
I was consumed by laughter.
Shoulders shaking.
Chest heaving.
Pee-your-pants laughter.
So much so that I couldn’t even eek out a reply.
When I finally composed myself, I had to ask, “So Lanky, who do you think really made out in this situation? I mean, the sole purpose of a bucket is to hold things. A bucket with a hole is no longer able to serve his purpose. So, did you really get a deal? Or is the guy at the store laughing all the way to the bank with the two bucks that you spent on an item that was no longer sell-able?”
Lanky was less than amused. I may have even hurt his feelings a little bit. Hey, maybe I’m crazy. Maybe the joy in receiving a good bargain far outweighs the fact that said bargain may suffer an early demise.
But nonetheless, we installed new beer bucket, who we’ll call “busted bottom,” and enjoyed the day on the boat.
Perception being everything, this bucket blunder made me wonder … if the bucket salesman was telling the story, what would his perspective be? And that got me thinking even more – when two people witness the same thing – how likely is it that both will recap the event in the same way?
I ask because, well, the bucket blunder didn’t end there.
After docking on Saturday, we cleaned the boat and brought “busted bottom” off the boat to dump his contents. Then, we threw him in the back of the car with the rest of the boating paraphernalia. So, on Sunday, when I was at Target and opened the back door of my SUV, “busted bottom” took a tumble. He rolled right under the car. I couldn’t grab him in time and he was soon safely stuck beneath my vehicle.
What to do? What to do?
I looked around to see who was watching before I determined my next move. And, as luck would have it the cart guy was in my parking aisle, and stopped to watch the show.
Now, I had to think quick.
My gut reaction was to just drive away. “Busted bottom” wasn’t worth the struggle, I mean he was already injured so why not just put him out of his misery? Honestly, what I wanted to do was utter a phrase that rhymes with bucket. However, upon further reflection I realized that based on how he was positioned under the car, it was more likely that I would back up and end up dragging him all the way home.
Another quick look over my shoulder revealed that cart guy was still watching so I really had no choice but to rescue “busted bottom.”
So there I was, lying on my side, in the Target parking lot, head beneath my car, arm outstretched, trying to fish “busted bottom” out from under the car with an umbrella. And, wouldn’t you know it … if it wasn’t for that hole, I never would have been able to capture the bucket.
I can only image that when cart guy got home that night he told the story of the crazy lady, lying down in the parking lot, with her head under her car, trying to grab a bucket. I wonder how his version ended?
Now, according to Lanky, his $2 was well spent because Bluffton - if not the world - got at least four stories out of it.
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