Everything Happens For a Reason, Oh Really?

Bluffton Today column
June 16, 2010

When I first moved to Bluffton, I sought out a spa for my monthly pedicure obsession. It turned out that the woman who “did my toes,” Lani, and I grew up just miles apart in New Jersey. We never met back then, but here we are today, 800 miles from home, great friends, and wondering how we could have missed each other all those years ago.

My closet friend (ok, we’re dating!) down here is a Yankee. (No, not a NY Yankee. You think I’d still be writing this column, if that was the case?) We lived just towns apart in New Jersey for the better part of our adult years, worked in similar industries, enjoyed the same favorite restaurants, yet our paths never crossed. Then, we both follow family to Bluffton and end up meeting here.

Was it meant to be? Or did Lani and her family, the Yankee and his family, my family and I all just happen to realize at the same time that property taxes in New Jersey were crazy and we were getting the heck out?

On Monday, CNN ran a story about a married Florida couple who discovered that they had crossed paths much earlier in their lives. Just before their wedding, the two were looking at old photos from the bride’s childhood vacation to Disney World. Upon further inspection, the groom realized that the kid in the stroller in the background of the photo was him! They met – face to face – decades later, and are now married.

Is that fate? Or did their parents both happen to take advantage of the same summer special that Walt was running? And, is that fate? Or is it really just a small world after all?

Last week I was forwarded an email (I usually delete these, but it was from my Mom, so I obliged) that talked about some of the survivors of September 11th attacks. Those who, because something unplanned popped up that morning – he had to run his daughter to daycare, he was stuck in traffic due to an accident, it was her turn to pick-up donuts - were late heading to work at the World Trade Center, and as a result didn’t perish.

The email went on to say how important the little things are and that in this instance, each of these “little things,” was a “blessing” that saved their lives.

I have a little trouble with that. It makes me wonder what the other 3,000 people, who did lose their life, did wrong that day to not be “blessed.”

And further, if the traffic that the guy was stuck in was a result of a car crash on the NJ Turnpike, what did the people in the car do wrong that day?

Heck, I’ll do you one better. Maybe the woman who had to pick-up donuts slowed at a yellow light, instead of racing through. Maybe her caution then caused the guy in the car behind her to be late. So, what if he rushed through the next intersection and was side-swiped?

And this gets the ol’ wheels turning in my head. Does everything really happen for a reason?

You hear people say that all the time … You didn’t get the promotion you were gunning for? Well, everything happens for a reason? Your dog died? Well, everything happens for a reason. You had a miscarriage? Well, everything happens for a reason. Your wife left you? Well, everything happens for a reason.

Oh really, what’s the reason? Is it a higher power directing things? Or maybe the answers are simply …

You weren’t qualified.

He was 16 years old and his ticker couldn’t take it anymore.

Biology just wasn’t with you this time. (I know. I speak from personal experience.)

You’ve been sitting on the couch eating wings and sucking the sauce off your fingers for ten years instead of looking for a job and she was sick of it.

Nineteen men decided to hijack four planes and THAT is the reason why 3,000 innocent people died and a handful got lucky.

Courtney Hampson wonders if it is fate that she wrote this column and you read it. What are the chances? Tell her at courtneyh@hargray.com.