I was stood up by C2’s Bachelor of the Year. Ok, he didn’t stand me up. He was merely 30 minutes late. Regardless, my tolerance for tardiness being nil, my brain started working overtime to determine how I would introduce this Johnny come lately to the world. Once we started chatting he enthusiastically agreed that my first sentence (as printed above) was completely appropriate.
That’s when Ben Wolfe won me over. By the end of the story, I suspect he’ll have won you over too.
Ben start wooing the women early. His first love was “Susie” a cute girl with a great sense of humor. “Susie” had an interest in the performing arts and was debuting in the school’s production of The Sound of Music. Ben saw his opening and he grabbed it – he was cast as Kurt (cue “So Long, Farewell” lyrics) – and life has truly never been the same. Their spark eventually fizzled, as most fourth grade relationships do. However, thanks to “Susie,” Ben was introduced to another passion – theatre - which he pursued through his school days and into college and today he is the Performing Arts Director at Hilton Head Preparatory School.
After “Susie” Ben chuckles as he describes dating in his hometown of Sandersville Georgia, where he attended a small private school and graduated with a class of merely 25 -- the same 25 kids whom he started Kindergarten with. “It was hard to date, everyone knew everyone so well. It was like dating your sister. So there were a lot of group outings, dances mostly. Once, I could drive -- movies and bowling were the only options and we actually had to drive outside of Sandersville to do that,” he said with a grin.
Now, that the Lowcountry is his oyster, his perfect date around here would start with “seeing something – a baseball game, a movie, a show – then dinner, so we’d have something to talk about over our meal.” I like his strategy.
Ben has a hell of a sense of humor and in fact, seeks the same in a mate. “She has to have a sense of humor.” I asked him if he ever jumped ship because a date just wasn’t funny, or didn’t find him funny. As expected his reply was dripping with sarcasm … “Listen, I’m not going to ditch a date at dinner. I enjoy food too much. It’s not worth missing a meal.”
Admittedly, Ben is not actively looking for the future Mrs. Wolfe. “I’m not NOT looking; I’m also not browsing Craig’s List on a Friday night.” (Good, because that would be creepy.) Two of Ben’s fellow Hilton Head Prep teacher’s – Kathryn Ramseur-Riley and Tina Webb-Browning - nominated Ben for the Bachelor contest. Ben says that he agreed to participate, recognizing that for him it would all be tongue in cheek. However, on the off chance that Carrie Underwood reads C2, he is hoping that this could be the start of something beautiful.
The prize for the Bachelor victor is $3,000 (and this fabulous article). Ben says, “Coincidentally, $3,000 is the same price as my self respect. So that worked out real well.” He intends to spend every penny on a new car. (Good! Perhaps one that will assist him in getting places on time.) Ben is also expecting that once the Christmas trees come down in all of the Island’s traffic circles, a life size statue of him will be erected. Yet, he’ll continue to live life as a commoner and has, “no plans to introduce a new walk or anything …”
Now that he’s won, it is also necessary that he be subjected to a barrage of questions. So, here we go.
C2: What is the quality you most admire in a woman?
Ben: Sense of humor and the ability to help me in matching my shirts and ties.
C2: What do you most value in your friends?
Ben: Dependability.
C2: Who are your heroes?
Ben: My parents, my close friends and ... Ralph Nader.
C2: What are your pet peeves?
Ben: Food smacking and that awkward doctor’s waiting room silence.
C2: What is the most important thing in your life?
Ben: Succeeding personally and professionally, to the degree that my success allows me to aid and support friends in need. Oh! And honey mustard, it just goes with anything.
C2: Beer or wine?
Ben: Beer, if you're offering.
C2: Hamburger or hot dog?
Ben: Do we really know what's in a hot dog? Always a burger for me.
C2: Beach or mountains?
Ben: Mountains occasionally ... but judging by my current location, I've made my sand castle, now I lie in it.
C2: If your house were on fire, what is the one thing you would save?
Ben: I am currently living alone with no pets. I know I'd grab my computer so I could update my Facebook status about the fire, then Facebook chat someone to call 911 for me.
C2: What has been your most embarrassing moment?
Ben: Besides these surveys? You'd think I'd say the countless times I've burst open the seam of my pants while performing on stage ... but somehow I've gotten used to that.
C2: If we asked an ex-girlfriend to tell us one thing about you, what would she say?
Ben: "What? He told me his name was Juan."
C2: Would you take the last sip of milk for your morning coffee?
Ben: Well as an avid avoider of both milk and coffee, the last sip is always safe around me.
C2: What was the last movie that made you cry?
Ben: Field of Dreams. Every time. It’s the magic corn.
C2: What is currently in your Netflix queue?
Ben: Inception and Shawshank Redemption.
C2: What is the biggest misperception others have about you?
Ben: That I'm really tall. Actually, they're just really short.
Ben doesn’t take him self too seriously and he loves to crack a joke. Obviously.
In addition to his stellar wit, he is a hard worker, he likes to take care of the people he loves, and he is committed 110% to everything he does -- and therefore very selective about what he weaves into his life, women included.
He is the self-proclaimed pickiest person on the planet, “I have a little George Costanza in me,” he says. Too much Costanza is likely a deal breaker for most women, so I asked Ben to elaborate. After some quick math to calculate his persona – and liken it to characters on TV – he replied, “50% Ross Gellar, 40% Jerry Seinfeld, and 10% George Costanza.” By my calculation, that is 90% normal … I’d say that’s pretty good odds ladies.
Since his pickiness may be his downfall, I thought I should give the single gals a little head start on landing Bachelor Ben. So, the three questions he will definitely ask you on a first date are as follows: What is your favorite outdoor sport? What type of music do you listen you? And, if you could spend your life working for a charity, which charity would it be? (Ben advises that the answer to question three should not be Al Qaeda.)
I have Ben’s phone number and email, and even though he hasn’t formally asked (ok, he hasn’t asked at all), I will be more than happy to screen any potential inquiries. Otherwise, you should just plan to attend the unveiling of the new Ben statue, which will likely be placed near a beach, and a honey mustard stand.
If we build it, they will come.
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